Semaine d’une charrue charriée
C’est lundi. Le lundi, même si ça finit en « i », dans ma tête ça rime avec « ordinaire ». Le lundi, ça se camoufle au milieu de l’ordinaire, comme le « di » au milieu du mot. Enfin, le lundi c’est pas que c’est moche, c’est juste pas excitant, c’est monochrome. Terne, uni, rien d’aventureux. Dans le fond, ça passe, mais c’est assez décevant à regarder. Le lundi, je me lève puis je me regarde dans le miroir : « T’es qui toé parce que j’pu sure de te reconnaître? » Un visage que je connais depuis trop longtemps et il me dégoute. Je le regarde, je le hais, mais je ne peux pas m’empêcher d’éprouver de la sympathique pour lui. Il m’écoeure tellement que j’en ai pitié ou j’en ai tellement pitié qu’il m’écoeure… Ambiguë. Rendu là, ça revient au même de toute façon, je m’écoeure.
Le plus douloureux dans tout ça c’est que des fois j’aimerais mieux ne pas le connaître. Ciao la connue, je t’ignore comme une inconnue, je me ferme les yeux puis j’évite les miroirs. Le lundi, je tente d’oublier qui je suis, ce que j’ai été, parce que le lundi j’hésite entre me donner le titre de charrue ou de charriée.
Le mardi est assez maigre, je me sens petite dans mes culottes. Bref, c’est pas le Mardi gras plein de festivités et d’allégresse, c’est une réflexion sur mes activités passées pleines de festivités et d’allégresse… Le mardi, je me sens charriée par d’autres charrues. Le plaisir au bout du compte ça fait mal. C’est la journée boulimique. J’ai envie de vomir tout le plaisir que j’ai eu, m’en débarrasser, qu’il ne se soit rien passé. Je me sens coupable, j’ai honte, je me dis que ça ne se reproduira plus quand je sais très bien que je risque de rechuter. Je regrette de ne pas être restée chez moi à faire des mots-croisés en me disant : « Vertical 4, 7 lettres; suicide japonais. Hum! … Seppuku! » Et là, j’aurais donc bien augmenté mon niveau de connaissances au lieu du niveau d’innocence… Et innocence dans le sens de stupidité et non de charmante naïveté. Quoique la stupidité dans mon cas c’est lié à ma naïveté, disons qu’ils sont nés siamois et sont indissociables. Bref, le mardi je me sens charriée. Une charrue m’est passée sur le corps, a fait de moi une « belle petite merde » et m’a trainée avec elle dans son univers.
Le mardi j’ai mal aux tripes, je veux régurgiter et faire une « boulimique des plaisirs » de mon être pour n’avoir aucune conséquence de tout ça. Le mardi, même si je voulais, je ne peux pas vomir alors je maudis les charrues de ce monde qui charrient de pauvres innocents-stupides comme j’ai été.
Je suis contre les mercredis. Les mercredis ça pue. Il y a une erreur dans le mot, j’appellerais ça les merdecredis. Les merdecredis je me sens merde, je sens la merde, je vois de la merde partout. Je suis enfoncée jusqu’au cou dans la merde question d’avoir l’odeur qui rôde bien proche de mes narines. Les merdecredis je suis une charrue enlisée dans la merde. Puis j’essaye de m’en sortir, et j’éclabousse de merde tous ceux qui tentent de m’aider. Pauvres âmes charitables, ôtez-vous de mon passage, parce que vous risquez de vous retrouver charriées à votre tour. Et plus je tente de m’en sortir, plus le splash est phénoménal. De la merde, j’en fais revoler partout. Les merdecredis c’est merdique. L’odeur est imprégnée à ma peau puis on dirait bien que même si je frotte avec un savon, ou pire, un SOS, ça ne part pas. Ça me colle à la peau, comme si j’avais été à un festival de la moufette… L’odeur est juste plus écoeurante puis récurrente, je ne suis pas capable de m’en débarrasser, elle fait désormais partie de moi. Les merdecredis c’est merdique, je me rends compte qu’au fond je suis devenue à mon tour une belle charrue.
Le jeudi, je suis qui? Je me sens mal dans les deux rôles. Le jeudi je suis schizophrène, man j’suis qui?! C’est rendu que je le sais plus. Suis-je une charriée? Suis-je une charrue? Suis-je un béluga? Aucune idée. Le jeudi, je perds mon identité, j’ai plus aucun cadre de référence, plus rien ou plus personne sur qui me fier. Le jeudi, je voudrais être le personnage principal de la série de livres « dont tu es le héros ». Tu es au Mardi gras et tu t’apprêtes à faire une gaffe monumentale. Si tu veux recevoir une claque dans face pour te réveiller, saute à la page 49. Si tu n’as pas envie de réfléchir, reviens à la page 12. Si tu tentes de distraire l’adversaire en vomissant au sol, tourne à la page suivante. C’est drôle parce que si le choix te plait, tu continues dans ce sens-là, s’il ne te plait pas, tu changes d’idée et passes à une autre page pour avoir le meilleur scénario possible. C’est drôle parce que tu peux vivre tous les scénarios si tu le veux. C’est drôle parce que tu peux savoir ce qu’il va t’arriver. C’est drôle parce que dans la vraie vie quand tu choisis une option, c’est un non-retour, tu assumes la page que tu as choisie. Même si ce n’est pas la bonne, même si tu aimerais revenir en arrière, il est souvent trop tard. C’est drôle parce que le livre, si j’avais eu le choix, j’aurais été ni charrue ni charriée comme personnage principal, je ne l’aurais juste pas choisi comme histoire. Ça aurait évité un bad trip de schizophrénie.
L’illusion d’optique c’est le vendredi. Qu’est-ce qui est arrivé? Rien n’est arrivé! Le vendredi, je ne suis rien de tout ça. Le vendredi j’oublie. Le vendredi, je me saoule à l’imaginaire. J’imagine, j’espère, j’idéalise, je fabule un univers dans lequel rien ne s’est passé, dans lequel je ne suis pas. Le vendredi c’est le grand théâtre! Je me joue assez bien la comédie je dois dire! Le seul problème c’est que, lorsque la pièce est terminée, je me retrouve dans ma loge, pas de fleurs, pas d’éloges, pas rien. J’enlève mon costume, mon masque, puis je me rends compte qu’en dessous, c’est la même chose qu’avant. La pièce n’a juste pas duré assez longtemps à mon goût. Je me jouerai la comédie une autre fois…
DMS. DMS pas comme dans DMX « Yo yo je fais de la musique negga », DMS comme dans Destruction massive le samedi. Ouais, samedi c’est un jour de destruction massive. Je veux tout détruire. J’ai envie de tout lâcher, de tout briser, de briser ce qui m’entoure, de me briser les os. Je suis soldate le samedi. Je n’ai pas de pitié. Le samedi, je n’ai même pas besoin de m’armer, je suis l’arme. Je me fous un peu de ce qui arrive rendu là, ça n’a plus d’importance. Pas de pitié, pas d’émotions, pas de peur, pas de rien… Plus rien. Plus rien qui ne m’atteint, plus rien qui en vaille la peine, plus rien qui m’importe vraiment. Le samedi je suis soldate, j’ai beau avoir existé avant, maintenant que je suis sur le champ de bataille, il n’y a plus rien d’autre que moi et tout le reste. Puis tout le reste je m’en fou, parce que je sais c’est la fin, qu’une fois le combat terminé, je ne tiendrai plus debout moi non plus. Au moins, j’aurai détruit, comme tout bon soldat.
C’est dimanche, ô combien populaire (ou impopulaire) jour du Seigneur et je me repentis. Peu importe le fait que je sois la charrue ou la charriée, ça ne change plus rien désormais. Le dimanche, je cherche à oublier, à revenir en arrière. J’espère un miracle… Je prie, j’implore! Pardonnez-moi! Je ne sais pas si c’est en vain, je ne sais pas si ça va donner quelque chose, mais je le fais pareil. Le dimanche, je cherche à me faire pardonner de tous… Pardonnez-moi, parce que moi je ne me le pardonne pas…
Délicieuses traductions…
Nous, gens du Québec, aussi gentils, fins, courtois, symétriques, propres, assaisonnés, phosphorescents, diatoniques, bituminueux ou wathever qualificatif que nous soyons, notre tendance à exprimer nos intenses passions et/ou pensées et/ou colères (comme un bon jus 100 % pur pommes) en anglais mènent parfois à de drôles de traductions. Délectez-vous!
Fuck the school ≠ Fuck the Skull
Cet appel classique du secondaire, (quels rebels ces jeunes!) souvent dessiné sur des bâtiments, qui exprime tant de haine envers l’école est ici totalement gâché. Ô misère!!! Quoique fourrer un crane est peu être plus bad ass que de se rebeller contre l’école?!
Holly shit! ≠ Oily shit!
Malgré que les deux sont une réaction par rapport à quelque chose de surprenant!
L’envie…
Avide d’envie j’envie le vide
J’envie la vie qui me vide
L’envie du vide que je vis
«Vis ton vice et vide-t’en
Vide tes viscères et serre le vide,
Viscéralement tu seras avide
D’une envie vide de vie»
Et je vis une vie sans envie
En vie je me sens si vide
Vide d’envie et avide du vice
Je vide ma vie sans envie
Ainsi je vis mon envie vide du vide.
Les Red Sucks
J’ai le vagin dans le coeur, mais j’ai pas le coeur dans le vagin. Une théorie simple que beaucoup de manieurs du bâton à Sexham City ont de la difficulté à comprendre. En fait, j’ai plus l’impression que c’est tellement simple qu’ils rendent ça compliquer. Bzzzz!!! Court-circuit après leur coup de circuit; je suis à l’arrêt-court pis ça sonne les balles creuses qui se remplissent d’idées fausses. Dans le jargon, on appelle ça des fausses balles. Et POUF! C’est déjà la fin des séries après une game. Parce que même si on est pas le même type de joueur, lui au bat puis moi qui reçois au champ, ça l’air qu’après une seule game je voudrais qu’on forme une équipe dont le nom serait « Couple ». Disons seulement que de mon bord j’ai pas l’esprit d’équipe fort fort après une seule partie.
C’est la première prise, premier retrait ou premier wathever qui fait en sorte que le frappeur fait pas bien bien de points sur sa fiche technique. Pourtant le règlement est simple : j’ai le vagin dans le coeur pas le coeur dans le vagin, dans le sens que je veux juste jouer pour le fun sans être obligée de m’inscrire dans la ligue. Comme les ligues de garage au hockey, c’est underground, tu te casses pas la tête avec les majeures, mineures ou professionnelles, tu fais juste jouer pour le plaisir, quoique certains se prennent bien trop au sérieux.
Des fois je sais pas si ce sport là s’appelle le baise-ball ou la balle-molle, à mon avis c’est une combinaison des deux même si parfois j’appellerais ça le bat-rapide. Mais encore là, le bat-rapide va de paire avec la balle-molle, enfin ils se succèdent. C’est sûr que pendant une game, une balle papillon bien envoyée me fait papillonner l’estomac. C’est que ça prend de la technique pour la maîtriser celle-là! Puis faut dire que ce soir là, le joueur était encore au niveau Atome; ben exité d’avoir un équipement tout neuf, mais pas capable de s’en servir! Ouais yavait un beau bat, léger, d’une bonne dimension, qui semblait être capable de swinger au fond, mais câlice spas l’équipement qui fait le sportif! Je l’aurais ben faite bencher toute une game celui-là avoir su, mais c’était le seul joueur disponible.
Alors la game commence, aucun spectacteur dans les gradins. Une chance! La partie était tellement honteuse qu’il aurait fallu rembourser tous les billets de saison! Je lui lance la balle, lui il est au bat, un ptit crachat inclus, question d’avoir l’air de savoir comment ça marche. Je lui envoie une petite facile, j’y vais pas trop rough, il est pas encore réchauffé! Il réussi à la manquer. En fait, il a commencé à swinger ben avant le temps, puis si je me fie aux statistiques, s’il se rend au premier but à soir, ça va être beau! Ouais, sa balle est «dans le champ» au lieu d’être envoyée «au champ». C’est sûr qu’il fait pas un Homerun. Et j’hypothétise, mais je suis assez sûre qu’il n’en fera pas un de sa carrière. Spas que t’es un mauvais joueur, t’es juste pas bon. C’est pas ton sport! Ou inscris-toi dans des camps d’entraînement petit, question de pas te faire torcher par les catégories inférieures. Quand c’est rendu que j’aimerais mieux jouer avec ton petit frère qu’avec toi, c’est qu’il y a quelque chose qui cloche! Bref, je pense bien qu’il joue pour les Red Sucks… Les Red Sucks, en traduction libre au français ça veut dire « ça suck ben raide » non? En tout cas… Son équipe, s’pas pour rien qu’il est tout seul dedans!
« Attends le bon moment avant de swinger!… «Fais attention! Tu cours dans le mauvais sens garçon!…» Bon, ça y est, c’est rendu que je donne des conseils. Comme c’est parti là je joue plus, je coach. Anyway la partie était tellement platte que j’avais envie de lui dire que je voulais l’abandonner. Je pense que c’est la première fois que je coachais, puis à vrai dire…j’HAIS ÇA!!! Je suis faite pour jouer, par pour donner des trucs à d’autres joueurs. C’est pas mon problème si t’as pas été capable de retenir ce qu’on t’apprend, quand t’as de la misère avec la base, je te montrerai pas comment faire de l’effet avec tes balles. Bref, lui c’était le cas, les verbes d’action, il n’a pas ça dans le sang.
À mon plus grand désarroi, et/ou malheur, il avait l’air beaucoup trop heureux de la tournure des évènements, comme s’il était privilégié de recevoir des conseils qu’il allait pouvoir pratiquer une prochaine fois. « Alors, à quand on remet la partie?»… « Euh!!! Désolée mon grand, tu peux pu faire partie de l’équipe, alors on oublie ça pour la prochaine game!». C’est terminé pour moi les Red Sucks!
Le vampire et l’hémophile
Je t’ai tendu mon cou, frêle, naïf mais confiant
Tu m’as tendu un coup, fort, vif mais cruel
J’étais l’appât, tu étais la bête, et j’étais bête, j’ai suivi ton pas.
Passe par ici, passe par là, tu me faisais des tours de passe-passe et je passais par-dessus tout.
Tu es le Rôdeur, l’Assoiffé, l’Inassouvi, tu es le Vampire
Derrières tes lèvres aux douceurs verbales se cache une langue de vipère
Qui, habilement, m’a piquée droit au cœur pour y insérer son venin
Amour tu l’appelais, mais Vampire tu es, tu n’as qu’aspiré le mien
Je t’ai offert ma chaire comme on offre une pomme mûre à son maître
Maître dans l’art de croquer, tu l’as mordue, t’en es délecté
Tu t’es repu de sa tendresse et tu en as rejeté le cœur.
Suis-je une pomme trop mûre devenue pomme pourrie?
Je suis l’Affectée, l’Infectée du syndrome, je suis l’Hémophile.
Filer j’aurais du avant que tu te faufiles près de moi et m’enfiles
Dans les ficelles de la passion où tu m’as mordue et doucereusement blessée
L’Hémophile que je suis a un corps qui ne cesse de pleurer
Son cœur meutri pompant sans répis son envie de toi
Vampire que tu es, tu t’en es repu et désormais tu t’en lasses
Tandis que dans mon cou comme le sang coulent mes larmes,
Je ne suis plus qu’une âme dont tu te débarrasses
Hémophile de l’amour qui s’évade de mes entrailles
L’entaille que tu as taillée ne peut être cautérisée
Terrorisée je t’observe bâtir ton empire Vampire
Tu as eu raison de l’Hémophile, désormais je n’aime plus
Saignante, je fais du boudin, en veux-tu un morceau?
Le jour où j’ai été nue …
Troublée j’étais, jamais je ne m’étais sentie ainsi auparavant. Tu as su m’amadouer pour extirper ce que je n’ai jamais dévoilé à personne. Tu m’as dit « fais moi confiance » et j’ai su. J’ai su que je pouvais m’abandonner à toi sans crainte, sans peur, sans la douleur honteuse de quelqu’un qui a trop dévoilé une partie de soi.
Habille tes mains étaient, elles qui caressaient mon dos et moi confuse je me suis rendue à toi. Tes lèvres savaient, ta langue connaissait mon secret, tes yeux me parlaient et me disaient que tu ne me trahirais pas. J’y ai cru, je l’ai voulu, j’ai espéré ce moment.
Oh! Troublée et honteuse j’étais. Tu m’as dénudée aussi facilement et sans effort parce que je le voulais. Je voulais que tu saches, je voulais que tu devines, je voulais te le crier le plus muettement possible. Tu m’as observée, détaillée, analysée et tu as compris. Tu as pris chaque parcelle de mon être et tu l’as dévorée, t’en es délecté comme s’il fallait que tu t’imprègnes de ce que j’étais, que nous fusionions. Que d’intensité. Mon corps vibrait au rythme de ton souffle, ma peau frissonnait de te savoir si près de moi et mon âme tremblait de peur.
Tu as su me pénétrer en entier, sonder mon intimité, violer ce que je tentais de dissimuler. Mon âme tu as compris, mes pensées tu t’es appropriées comme si elles étaient les tiennes et mes craintes tu as appaisées. J’ai découvert ce jour, découvert mon âme soeur, la personne qui me comprend sans que j’aie à parler, qui me devine et cerne l’état d’âme que mes gestes reflètent. Le jour où j’ai été nue, tu m’as laissé mes vêtements et a retiré un lourd fardeau des épaules. Ce jour où j’ai été nue, je savais que j’avais trouver plus qu’un confident, plus qu’un ami, plus qu’un amour car en ce jour, je n’avais jamais été aussi nue…
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L’être qui s’accorde
Si j’étais
Je pourrais être
Malheureusement jamais je ne serai
Alors pourquoi serais-je?
Si je suis
C’est que je fus
Pourtant je n’ai jamais été
Pourquoi proclamer que je sois?
Si j’avais été
Je serais peut-être
Mais que j’eusse été
N’a jamais eu lieu d’être
J’aurais été
Tout en étant
Quoique sans être
Je suis
L’accord de l’être
Est l’être qui s’accorde
Mais sans m’accorder
J’accorde mon être
Une bouteille à la mer
Solitude embouteillée, tu dérives cachant ton lourd secret. Ta maison de verre semble impénétrable, elle reluit, elle brille!, mais tu sais qu’elle n’est pas aussi resplendissante qu’elle le laisse croire.
Parchemin que tu es, replié, enroulé sur lui-même, tu dissimules les marques de ton passé, tu caches ton histoire. Une vague aux reflets amers t’amène à la dérive, et toi tu te rives aux parois de ton âme, espérant atteindre le rivage. Folle solitude, tu erres dans une mer instable aux parfums de regrets. Tu te heurtes sans cesse au bouchon de ton piège, t’empêchant de goûter aux rayons ardents du soleil.
Solitude esseulée, tu fus jettée à la mer. On se débarrassa de toi croyant que les flots te mèneraient vers un avenir meilleur. Prometteur ton futur était, enfin c’est ce qu’on croyait. Solitude bernée, tu regrettes amèrement ton sort et espère que contre le roc tu vas te casser plutôt que d’être recueillie pour n’être qu’encore rejettée.
L’étalon ne se cache pas dans un oeuf
Batman avait Gotham City, moi j’ai plutôt Sexham City. En fait, pas totalement, car je ne suis pas la Batman, la Batwoman ou peu importe lequel Bat-personnage dans la ville. J’ai beau être associée au bat ou aux bats, je suis un peu plus la Robin dans les péripéties de la ville du sexe. La Robin qui sent parfois la robine, parce que pour survivre à Sexham, il faut régulièrement perdre la carte et POUF! la ville te saute en plein visage, ou je devrais plutôt dire un Sexhamien? Un Sexhamois? Un sexe-à-moi? Un Sexcitoyen? Un Sexy-toi-yen? Bref un habitué de la place qui t’agrippe et te dit : « Viens! J’ai de quoi de beau à te montrer! »
Et là, tu pars ou bien tu repars à la découverte de Sexham City. Il faut dire que la ville porte bien son nom, Sexe-Jambon. Ouais, car pour avoir le sexe, souvent il faut que tu aies l’air aussi alléchant qu’un bon jambon. Un peu comme dans les cartoons où le gros moustachu salive en rongeant autour de l’os d’une cochonne ou d’un cochon, rendu là, on se fout du sexe du jambon, il est cuit anyway.
Je pense que les mâles de Sexham ont tous un diplôme en tourisme et leur mission d’entreprise c’est de te faire faire le meilleur tour guidé de la ville. Reste que la ville, ils te la font voir différemment. En fait, je n’ai jamais vu le même endroit deux fois avec différentes personnes. Faut croire qu’ils n’échangent pas leurs trucs pour impressionner les touristes. Les S.O.T., les Sexham Organisators Tour ne sont pas trop originaux des fois. Échanger des trucs, ça fait mal à personne. C’est arrivé qu’un guide me montre inlassablement le même endroit, mais voyez-vous, quand on vous promet Outremont et que vous vous retrouvez à Montréal-Nord, on se tanne. C’est la même chose à Sexham City. « Viens! Si tu n’es pas venue avec moi, c’est que tu connais rien de Sexham City! »
Et vlan! La promesse est lancée, j’ai l’Outremont du sexe qui me pend sous le nez. J’aime pas trop les promesses à saveur politique, puis ça on en dirait ben une.”Notre parti promet une réduction des taxes”… mais ce que vous savez pas c’est qu’on coupe dans les prêts et bourses. C’est pas faux comme promesse, mais c’est pas gagnant. Bref, la je viens de me faire promettre toute une croisière de luxe, puis j’espère que je ne me retrouverer pas à ramer avec un canot percé. Bon, quelques fois la curiosité l’emporte et les quelques téquilas soigneusement alignées ce soir me poussent à accepter l’offre. C’est comme choisir entre 75 000 $ cash ou l’oeuf à la Poule aux oeufs d’or, même si la famille puis les amis te brassent la pancarte pendant 30 secondes, au bout du compte c’est toi qui choisis et qui assumes. Le gros lot, c’est bien beau, mais tomber sur le bon oeuf, ça en prend de la chance.
Puis à soir, je crois que j’en ai, je prends l’oeuf. J’ai mis mon petit masque puis mes leggings de Robin from Sexham pour aller à l’attaque. Au pire, si j’ai pas de gros lot et que je suis déçue, j’achèterai un autre billet.
Et je suis l’oeuf dans sa copie de la batmobile version cheapette made in Tawain, parce que de un, ça sent bizarre et de deux, j’ai peur que tout lâche en route. Mon rôle de copilote n’a pas ben ben d’influence dans ce cas-là. On roule puis la tête me pète un peu sur la vitre. C’est peut-être les nids de poules sur la route auxquels on a volé les oeufs, ou tout simplement la roulette russe prise avant de quitter le bar qui me fait tourner la tête.
Anyway, avec mon masque de Robin, le pilote ne se doute de rien. Il est occupé à conduire sa boîte à savon comme une formule 1 pour m’impressionner avec son moteur aussi surchargé qu’une écurie de campagne. Bref, il veut me montrer qui’il y a un étalon qui se cache sous le capot. Moi les chevaux sérieux, je m’en calice. Bien ceux qui galopent la crinière au vent, ça peut aller, mais les chevaux mécaniques qui s’activent aussitôt qu’une clé entre dans la serrure, ça ne m’impressionne pas ben ben.
Voilà qu’on arrive à destination. Encore un endroit inconnu de Sexham City, j’avais raison. Le villageois se met à l’aise :” Il fait chaud ici!” Coudonc, il se croit aux Bermudes lui-là? D’un coup, il me montre sa bedaine et garde seulement ses shorts puis ses bas. Voyez-vous, les bas c’est important dans l’histoire. De mon côté, je préfère côtoyer des orteils velus dans des gougounes plutôt que des bas dans des sandales, mais quand on va à la plage, certains veulent se garder une petite gêne, un peu de pudeur quand même! Il y a des inconnus partout sur une plage. Enfin, l’autre a beau te construire un beau château, son intimité de pieds est importante! Même dans ton propre carré de sable, il joue au timide, il sort sa pelle au grand jour, mais garde ses bas. Faut croire que les pieds c’est gênant. En tout cas, chacun a ses priorités parce bas ou pas, la banane cachée dans ses bermudas des Bahamas n’est pas trop gênée, elle a l’air de pousser, non je dirais même qu’elle est mûre. Au moins, elle n’est pas molle, là ça serait le bout!
Faut dire que si lui se croit aux Bermudes, moi je me prends pour une gymnaste. Je fais la split puis ça tombe bien, il a la banana. Ajoute ses noix, moi j’ai les cerises et il manque juste la sauce au chocolat pour garnir le dessert. Au moins, il est fruité, ça aurait pu être pire. Ça aurait pu être du type déjeuner continental, le croissant trop gras avec les oeufs gluants pas trop cuits et le bacon mou avec tout ça. Rien de trop croustillant.
Le temps avance pis l’oeuf du « encore possible gros lot » s’impatiente, il ne m’a pas montré ses étalons pour rien, il veut partir au grand galop le plus vite possible lui-là! « Mets une selle garçon sinon oublie ça pour l’équitation. Monter à cheval style libre ça me tente pas. J’ai pas envie de me faire des bobos si tu manies mal ton gros sabot! »
Vlà que la selle est en place et on part! Finalement, son grand galop ressemble plus à un petit trot. Une ballade assez ordinaire et pas trop palpitante. Tu as le temps de voir du paysage, bailler, prendre des photos puis faire un résumé de 500 mots de la promenade avant même qu’elle soit finie et écrire l’épilogue « Plus de nouvelles parce qu’il s’imagine que t’es probablement en amour avec tandis que tu cherchais juste une ballade de procuration sans amour. Malaise au cours des prochains jours inclus dans le package deal. » Bon reste que dans la promenade, il y a toujours un petit pas de course de temps en temps, mais rien qui fait palpiter le coeur. Le petit poney se prenait pour un grand étalon! Une ballade correcte, mais qui ne vaut pas le détour. Encore une place de Sexham City où je ne reviendrai probablement jamais.
Encore pas de chance à soir, c’était pas le gros lot dans l’oeuf. Même pas le décevant 12 500$ + un mobilier de salon. Je ne suis pas plus riche qu’à mon arrivée dans le jeu, même que j’ai perdu un peu, de la dignité ça s’appelle.
Bref, à Sexham City, quand t’es mijoté une soirée de temps à la bière, t’aimes ben ça un oeuf pour t’accompagner dans le Crock Pot. Tu sais pas trop ce qu’il se cache dans la coquille, ça pourrait être mieux, ça pourrait être pire. Faut dire que même si c’est un oeuf brouillé, quand t’es dans le même état, ça s’équivault.
Quoique la prochaine fois entre l’oeuf et l’argent je vais y penser… à moins de croire que je vais enfin avoir le gros lot!
Araignée du matin chagrin, araignée du soir…fuck off!!!
Araignée du matin chagrin, araignée du soir espoir. Quelle idée de bs! J’en ai vu une grosse criss d’araignée hier soir moi, 10 h 15. Stu assez soir à votre goût? Elle était grosse, dégueu, noire avec des petites stripes de couleur sur le dos puis je me suis dit que si l’espoir était proportionnel avec la taille de l’araignée dans le proverbe, ben tabarnack j’allais avoir plein d’espoir! Espoir, spas généralement synonyme de bonheur ça? Pu dans mon livre à moi.
Araignée du matin chagrin, araignée du soir…FUCK OFF! Proverbe de marde. J’aime pas les proverbes, ça me pue au nez, ça nous fait juste croire des trucs qui ne se peuvent pas. Araignée du matin chagrin…ok ouin ça passe peut-être. Araignée du soir, espoir… FUCK OFF! L’espoir c’est comme le talent de Grégory Charles puis les Hobbits, c’est rare pis quand t’en as, ben ça vient en petit format. Alors, on oublie ça.
Anyway, est-ce que ça a vraiment une utilité espérer? Espérer avoir mieux quand t’es même pas capable de t’ouvrir les yeux sur ce que t’as, c’est pas quelque chose que je qualifierai de champion. Proverbe de marde, mot de marde. Espoir, c’est loooooooooser comme mot. “Sois insatisfait de ce que tu as puis pense donc à ce que tu n’auras pas”. Belle mentalité. L’espoir j’ai ça solide din fesses, comme un osti de suppositoire quand t’as la grippe, tu l’as pas par choix, mais par obligation. Parce que c’est la dernière solution qu’il te reste quand t’as l’impression qu’il te reste pu rien.
Bref c’est de la marde, moi ça me tente pu. Fuck off les proverbes, ça raconte des niaiseries. Aussi bien rien avoir que d’attendre pour quelque chose que tu n’auras jamais.